Jessamyn Stanley, 29, yogi and self-described fat femme, began practicing yoga five years ago when she was in graduate school. As her practice developed, she documented it all—the progress, setbacks, and many barely clothed yoga poses—on Instagram, eventually amassing over 219,000 wonderstruck followers to her phenomenally motivational account, @mynameisjessamyn.
Today she is a certified yoga instructor in Durham, North Carolina. She's been profiled by numerous mainstream media outlets, including Glamour, Cosmopolitan, BuzzFeed, and New York Magazine's The Cut. She appeared on the cover of FabUPlus magazine. She's teaching a Yoga Journal workshop this fall. And her first book, Every Body Yoga, is coming out in the spring. Every step of the way, she's remained laser-focused on the importance of body positivity, self-care, and self-love.
"I am not a person society would expect to see great things from," Stanley tells SELF. "As a woman of color, you definitely grow up thinking that there are certain limitations to what you’re supposed to do." Her size only further restricted her ideas of what she was capable of. "I underestimated my body for years," she says. "I always thought that because I'm fat, I'm not the tallest, I'm not the ‘prettiest,’ there’s always going to be something wrong with me." Falling in love with yoga helped Stanley realize how untrue that was, but the process took time, effort, and hours upon hours of practice.
Stanley is the first to admit that practicing yoga didn't automatically lead to self-acceptance. "I realized when I first started that I was obsessed with the way that my practice physically looked," she says. That constant focus on her physical appearance got in the way of what Stanley now sees as the point of yoga: tapping into her body's strength. That all changed when Stanley started moving based on how she felt, rather than how she looked. That mindset has extended to the rest of her life, as well. "You end up in fewer situations where you’re genuinely uncomfortable because you're trying to be like somebody else or trying to embody something that has nothing to do with who you are. [Asking yourself,] 'How do I feel?' instead of 'How do I look?'—that’s the crux of everything," she says.
The focus on feeling over looks is partially why she so often practices wearing next to nothing. Baggy clothes can be distracting or encumbering, whereas practicing naked or nearly naked allows her to tune in to what her body is doing and feeling. There's an element of rebellion to it, as well, she says. This "unveiling," as she calls it, is about getting in touch with who she really is instead of covering up to make people comfortable. "I realized that there are no curvy people showing their bodies in this way, and therefore there are a lot of people who are repulsed by it...because it rubs up against what you were taught to believe. But I’m going to continue to do it," she says.
Stanley says she doesn't see herself as an inspiration, although she is acutely aware of the importance of diverse body and racial representation and inclusivity in mass media and the role she plays in that effort. "When I was 12 and I was just feeling terrible every single day, I wish that I could have seen a woman who looked like me," she says. "I think that it could have had a very positive impact on my life."
Styling: Dania Ortiz Hair: Elsa for Rene Furterer Makeup: Sam Addington for Chanel Rouge Allure Ink Manicure: Mar y Soul for Dior Vernis
