Krystal Miller wants you to know that having an ileostomy bag won't stop her from living her best life. The 32-year-old Australian mom of two has Crohn's disease, an inflammatory condition that affects the bowel. Miller was diagnosed at the age of 15, and suffered for years from symptoms like nausea, diarrhea, extreme fatigue, vomiting, and excruciating pain. When she was 22, she had her large intestine, anus, rectum and part of her small intestine surgically removed. She now uses an ileostomy pouch, attached to a stoma (a small opening in her abdomen connected to her small intestine), for waste removal. This pouch collects stool, and has to be emptied and cleaned numerous times a day. Every couple of days, Miller replaces the bag and the attachment.
Miller blogs about life with an ileostomy bag on her Facebook page, Bag Lady Mama. She shares pictures of herself and talks about her experiences in order to help other people understand what it means to live with an ileostomy pouch, and to empower women going through the same thing to feel confident in themselves. She also wants women in her position to do their research, and advocate for themselves.
"I've always played a major part in my recovery, ongoing support, and management of my own disease," she tells SELF. "I hope that others who have had surgery will also take control of their disease and disease management."
Image Credit: Facebook
On her page, Miller has opened up about what life was like before her surgery.
"It was so frustrating," she wrote. "I just wanted to be a 'normal' girl! I wanted to be able to not fear I wouldn't make it to the toilet in time. It was so horrible. Even working. I was being scrutinized because I worked in a call centre and was taking too many toilet breaks."
She chose to have surgery after her symptoms became unbearable.
"I just didn’t want to be dying anymore, because that’s what it felt like," she said. "I just wanted to be healthy and have a different life, because the life I was living wasn’t one."
Miller while pregnant with her second child, Arabella. Image Credit: Facebook
While the surgery was absolutely the best thing for her health, she struggled with low self-esteem afterwards.
Miller was worried that men would not find her body attractive, and one man she dated after her surgery "couldn't handle" the ileostomy pouch and broke up with her because of it. She slowly rebuilt her confidence, and ended up feeling super empowered and just as sexy as ever. She told her now-husband about the stoma on their second date—and it didn't faze him at all.
Miller with her husband, Shannon.Image Credit: Facebook
Miller and her husband have been able to have two children.
The experience wasn't smooth sailing. While she was pregnant with her son, she ended up with a perforated bowel that turned septic and required surgery. She also had four miscarriages before the pregnancy that resulted in her infant daughter, Arabella. But she hopes that other women in her position who want children will be able to relate to her story.
"I want to be a famous advocate for 'bag ladies' like myself, and let them know they can live a full life, they can have children, that’s a big thing for women." she told The Daily Mail.
Miller explaining her stoma to her son. Image Credit: Facebook
She has talked about the challenges of explaining her stoma and bag to her 4-year-old son, Lukas.
“I’ve always been completely upfront with [my son] and explained that Mama doesn’t have a bum—Which he’s made me prove before,” she wrote. “I think it’s absolutely vital to just be upfront with our children about having an ostomy. We are raising little men and women and I think I’m luckier than most because I’ll be able to raise a sensitive, caring and supportive boy.”
Ultimately, by sharing her photos and experiences, she wants to empower others.
Miller was recently accepted into a nursing program, and hopes to earn a degree in stomal therapy. She will continue to share her experiences online as a way to help others.
"The moral of the story is... You are still sexy!" she says to women going through the same thing. "You are still amazing. You are still powerful. You are still desirable."
Check out Miller's blog here.
