What Is a Hymen and How Does It “Break”?

Ah, the hymen. There are so many misunderstandings about this somewhat mysterious part of the vagina, especially when it comes to how it “breaks.” Oftentimes the discussion starts and ends with something about virginity. (You know, that whole “popping the cherry” concept.)

Hear us out: That’s pretty old-school thinking. For starters, your hymen and your virginity aren’t as closely connected as society has probably led you to believe. The truth is your hymen can tear from myriad circumstances—if you even have one to begin with.

So, we’re here to set the record straight about this tiny piece of tissue (which, honestly, you probably wouldn’t even know was there if nobody told you about it). Consider this your hymen cheat sheet.

“The hymen is a small, thin piece of tissue located at the opening of the vagina with no known biological function,” Valini Gosine, MD, clinical assistant professor in the department of obstetrics and gynecology at NYU Langone Health, tells SELF. Some people don’t even have a hymen, but don’t worry, being born without one doesn’t impact you or your sexual and reproductive health at all. Just like your appendix and your wisdom teeth, the hymen is a vestigial structure—meaning it doesn’t have a specific physiological function. Evolutionary theory suggests that people with vaginas developed a hymen to protect the vagina from potentially harmful bacteria¹, giving animals with a hymen a reproductive edge—but experts today still aren’t really sold on a reason why hymens are still around.

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The hymen, which tends to be stretchy and flexible, is usually a crescent- or ring-shaped piece of tissue at the opening of the vagina². The notion that the hymen covers the entire vaginal opening is a common misconception, and perhaps this is because at one point it kind of did. “During development in the womb, the hymen develops and does completely cover the vagina,” Renita F. White, M.D., FACOG, a board-certified ob-gyn at Georgia Obstetrics and Gynecology who is affiliated with Northside Hospital in Atlanta, tells SELF. “But as the vagina is formed, the hymen recedes away, just leaving behind the small ring of tissue.”

It also looks different from person to person, varying in size, shape, thickness, and elasticity, Mary Rosser, MD, PhD, assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Columbia University Irving Medical Center, tells SELF. Some hymens have ridges in the tissue while others may have little notches.

However there really is no way to tell if your hymen is “still there,” or intact, Dr. Gosine says, because it can be challenging to see your hymen on your own. Plus, there are actually different types of hymens.

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“Shortly after you’re born, the hymen will create an opening, which allows for your period blood to leave your body later in life,” Dr. Gosine says. But sometimes this hole doesn’t form properly (or at all), and when that happens, you may have one of the following types of hymens, according to the Cleveland Clinic:

• An imperforate hymen completely covers your vagina and has no opening at all³. Dr. Gosine explains this is most often discovered when someone with a vagina reaches puberty and does not get their period. If you have an imperforate hymen and start menstruating, the blood can back up in your vagina because it has nowhere to go. As a result, you could have back or stomach pain and a “full” feeling in your lower abdomen. There is no “right age” to menstruate, but if someone hasn’t yet and they’re older than 15⁴, then it might be worth getting a physical exam at a gynecologist’s office to evaluate things further.
• A microperforate hymen covers almost your entire vagina with one small opening. Most likely you’ll menstruate and won’t know that the opening is small until you have trouble inserting a tampon or having penetrative vaginal sexual activity, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists⁵ (ACOG).
• A cribriform hymen has multiple small openings rather than one larger hole. In this case, your blood might flow slowly when you menstruate and you might have trouble inserting things like a tampon in your vagina, depending on the size of the openings.
• A septate hymen has two small openings that are connected by skin tissue², which can make it hard to insert a tampon or other objects. Depending on the size of the holes, you may be able to insert a tampon, but have trouble with penetrative vaginal sex or masturbation.

If you have a hard time using a tampon or notice fluctuations in your period blood flow, be sure to check in with a gynecological provider for an accurate diagnosis if you have access to one, as there are health conditions that can cause similar symptoms, according to ACOG.

For example, someone with a transverse vaginal septum, meaning they’re born with a wall of tissue that separates parts of the vagina⁶, might not menstruate or have a hard time inserting a tampon. A minor surgery called a hymenectomy can remove the excess tissue if necessary and relieve symptoms. Afterward, you can expect to have totally normal vaginal function. Alternatively, you can talk to your doctor about whether using a vaginal dilator, which is a cylinder that is generally used to stretch the vagina (along with plenty of lube!), may help stretch your hymen.

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Let’s start by explaining that the hymen doesn’t really “break.” Hymen tissue is membrane-like and flexible, meaning it stretches and eventually tears. Further, your hymen can’t grow back or somehow “break” twice.

In the case of penetrative vaginal sex, your hymen stretches and generally tears, leading to potential bleeding for some people, Dr. White says. But each person’s experience is different in terms of when their hymen tears and if they feel physical symptoms like pain, he explains. You’re more likely to experience an obvious tear if your hymen is thicker or more rigid and less stretchy.

But there are so many other things that can cause a hymen to tear. Many people’s hymens get worn down and thin out over time from participating in physical activities like biking, horseback riding, gymnastics, and even masturbating, Dr. Rosser notes. The thinner your hymen gets, the more likely it is to eventually tear. Heck, gynecologic exams (such as a Pap smear) can also tear your hymen, says Dr. White.

Tampons can also stretch out your hymen, so the tissue can tear after numerous uses or even just one insertion, Dr. White says. If you use tampons regularly, it’s unlikely your hymen is still intact, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use them. If you are a virgin, and your hymen tears because of a tampon, that doesn’t somehow “cancel” out your virginity, if that’s something that’s really important to you.

One of the most common misconceptions is that an intact hymen confirms a person’s virginity². “There is no way to tell if someone has had sex by looking at their hymen,” Dr. Gosine says. “Hymens come in all shapes and sizes and you cannot tell if what you see is just normal for them.”

The hymen doesn’t always break during penetrative vaginal sex, either. Think of your hymen stretching in the same way a condom stretches to accommodate different sizes. “Some women have hymenal tissue and some do not regardless of whether they have had penetrative sex, used a tampon, or used a sex toy,” Dr. Gosine says.

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This ultimately depends on your unique hymen structure (again, if you have one) and your personal pain tolerance. Some people may feel soreness or pain when their hymen tears, while others may not even notice. If you’re trying to have penetrative sex for the first time but the pain is unbearable, try to press pause and schedule a visit with your doctor to make sure you don’t have an underlying health issue at play.

That said, a person can experience vaginal pain during or after sex for a number of reasons, Dr. Gosine says. Experiencing soreness, discomfort, or pain after sex is unfortunately fairly common for people with vaginas, and there are a handful of factors that can contribute to it.

Bleeding a little bit during the first time you have sex isn’t a big deal. Sometimes, you can get vaginal tears during sex, especially if you don’t have enough lubrication, which can lead to bleeding from the vaginal wall, explains Dr. Rosser. If the bleeding happens frequently or persists after sexy time is over, it’s worth seeing your gynecological provider if you have one to make sure there’s nothing more serious going on, such as conditions like endometriosis, pelvic inflammatory disease, or a sexually transmitted infection.

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Bottom line: Don’t fuss so much over your hymen.

One more time for the people in the back: The hymen does not equate to virginity! That’s just one myth about sex. And in most cases, your hymen doesn’t really impact your life (unless it hasn’t developed normally). A greater understanding of the hymen is clearly lacking in the context of cultural expectations, which speaks to a larger issue about the importance of knowing our bodies, including the vaginal area, and being free to talk about them.

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Sources:

1. Medical Hypotheses, Function of the Human Hymen
2. Reproductive Health, The Little Tissue That Couldn’t – Dispelling Myths About the Hymen’s Role in Determining Sexual History and Assault
3. StatPearls, Imperforate Hymen
4. StatPearls, Physiology, Menarche
5. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, Diagnosis and Management of Hymenal Variants
6. ScienceDirect, Vaginal Septum

Related:

• Why a Sex Journal Might Be Right for You—And How to Do It
• The Case for Telling Your Partner Exactly How You Want to Feel During Sex
• 8 Reasons Your Vulva or Vagina Might Get All Swollen